Reasons why we don’t invest in ourselves and stay stuck..
Over the past five years I have made significant investment in myself, from retraining and qualifying as a Therapist and Coach to continued development in sub specialisms – whether it is the finances needed to facilitate this or the time, enthusiasm and energy these are all considerations and factors I had decided to commit too. I had to get out of my own way and dig deep to find the value and challenge my personal limiting beliefs.
Calling on help from others after resisting for far too long to make things work and delving even deeper into those limiting beliefs and shifting them has been hard. After all there is a deep routed reason why I seldom asked for help (ever).
It has been tough at times, taking time out from an already busy and challenging life, job in the City with a long commute, teenage children in need of their Mum, forgoing precious time with my very patient and supportive husband and the money tree that stopped producing money.
It would have been easy to fall over at the first hurdle – in my experience of almost 3 decades of Policing, traditionally Cops get stuck in the cycle of Public Service being all they know, handcuffed to the pension and shackled to a regular guaranteed wage and I am sure its the same in so many other arenas where employees are looking and waiting for someone else (their employers) to invest in their development and rarely will someone see the value in sourcing their own development opportunities. I no longer wanted that to be me. I was seeking more, something higher.
So the question is, if you are NOT willing to invest in the development of the most important person in your life (YOURSELF) then will you ever be able to reach and realise your full potential?
Ask yourself one simple question..What would your ROI (I had to look it up once – Return on Investment) be if you invested in YOU? It’s not all about the immediate financial return, think laterally and internally.
Could it be more self belief, confidence, happiness, purpose & meaning – would these each give you more of something else?
We invest in tutors for our kids (I know as I have and still do) to support them in their education to get them through their exams – so what stops you from doing it for yourself?
“Personal Development is a lifelong process. It is a way for people to assess their skills and qualities, consider their aims in life and set goals in order to realise and maximise their potential”
Although I set about my own self development journey with the intention to retrain completely to specialise with working with clients in private practice with symptoms of PTSD, Anxiety, Stress, Panic and Burnout (All areas that are very precious to me) a byproduct has been developing individuals confidence and happiness levels and how they show up in both their private and public lives.
In retrospect that is where I should have started with myself, a little gentle combination of therapy and coaching rather than the all consuming and major up skill of learning a new craft.
So why do we not invest in self-development:
- Money / Cost
We don’t have the funds to invest, or we have the money, but we are worried about the return on investment, or the lack of guarantees on the money spent, and what it will ultimately cost to get help or bring about personal development.
A very legitimate concern for many, I’ve also seen that when we dig deeper to uncover core beliefs, there are numerous subconscious fears and worries that underlie the money concern that keep us from moving forward. Often, we suffer from a deep-rooted worthiness problem, and lack the self-esteem, confidence, and internal commitment necessary to move forward towards our highest goals and dreams.
The one thing we can almost always resort to as an excuse is our lack of time or the timing – there is always something else more important that takes up our time and energy and we tell ourselves there is always tomorrow – well there is no white knight bounding in on a horse to rescue us and ensure tomorrow comes.
- Good vs Bad
Ethically there is so many people claiming to be experts with little professional credibility or experience. However there is also many that are awesome and have significant offerings that may be absolutely the right fit for you.
Don’t be paralysed by this, no life problem or issue is that big it needs to keep you stuck through fear. Professional bodies exist for a reason.
- Shame & Pride
This reason revolves around an inner belief that we should not need any help to be successful or the best we can be and that asking for help is weak or reveals vulnerability.
How about vulnerability being a strength?
Often, this mindset is rooted in our programming received in childhood, where parents or other authority figures instilled in us a misguided and damaging notion that we should rely only on ourselves, and that admitting to needing help is admitting to failure.
There may be many more reasons but we can all bet that there is a solution to each of these challenges and the starting step has to be the change from within and to prioritise ourselves.
What are the consequences of not investing in YOU?
I’ve lived this, as have many people that I know. Waiting too long to get help can mean we lose everything we’ve worked so hard for, or we make matters infinitely harder for ourselves. We chose to stay stuck, unhappy and unfulfilled by not taking action.
When I ask people, “What do you think are the repercussions for not getting the help you need or by not investing in YOU?” virtually all people I know share this: “I’m missing out on the success, growth, and improvement I could be experiencing.”
If any of the above reasons strikes a chord with you and you know that outside help is necessary to improve your situation, I hope you’ll muster the bravery to dig deep and address what is standing in your way of getting help.
Embrace that fact that we all need help at one time or another – that’s the universal human condition. We are all fellow strugglers. It’s a very wise and empowered person who can face his or her challenges bravely and ask for help by investing in themselves.
I am not talking about the sort of investment I made, just the smaller more sublime stuff that at times we could all do a little help and guidance with.
Be that wise and empowered version of you and invest with a FREE breakthrough call with me.